As military wives and mothers, we stress the importance of manners and teach our children the importance of saying please and thank you, but how often do we show our thanks to our friends? While the words may be easy to say, it’s the showing it that takes the real time and effort. I get it. We are all busy with our lives and it’s easy to get bogged down by routine, but soon we are left depleted.
A simple thank you can lift your spirits! There’s something magical that happens when showing thanks. We feel so good showing it and making another person happy. A thank you, to me, can mean a variety of things, but deep down, a thank you means ‘I love you’! Love experts and marriage therapists always suggest reading the 5 Love Languages to discover you and your partner’s love language. The same should go for friendships. We all love in different capacities and show it in different ways. If you have not read the book, I highly recommend it just so you know yourself, your partner and your friends better.
So…if you’re good at dishing out thanks but need a little help showing it, check out these friendly love suggestions.
Love your Milspos Using the 5 Love Languages
Receiving Gifts
Send a care package
There’s something special about opening the mail box and seeing a sweet gift from a friend or loved one inside. We all love getting gifts, don’t we? Theme your box to the specific need/occasion for your friend. Is she expecting her first baby or perhaps her 5th and just PCS’d to a new duty station with no friends to host her a baby shower? Send a Baby Shower box! Is she battling a sickness that has swept through the house? Send a Get Well box. Other ideas are a Newly married box, a Birthday box or a Loneliness box, just to name a few. Get creative. And if your time is limited, as ours usually always is, then let the gals at The Six Box take the work out for you. They are the creators of The Six Box, a monthly reverse care package for military spouses.
Bake a batch of cookies to share
A thank you doesn’t have to be as elaborate as a box full of goodies. It can just be 1 cookie that you share. Bake up a batch of your favorite cookies, put into baggies and deliver to your friends. It’s as simple as that.
Words of Affirmation
Send a note
Thank goodness for social media and email as a way to stay connected with each other. But I can’t tell you how a good ol’ fashioned letter from a friend can feel and lift my spirits. A handwritten note tells me that you took time out of your busy day to sit and craft a special message for me and that thoughtful gesture means more to me than any Facebook message. Of course, any message or shout out is great. If you ordered a November Six Box, then your box included cards to gift to a friend. Don’t let the cards collect dust. Think of the friend who really could benefit from hearing those words. Since becoming a military spouse, it has been even more difficult to maintain long distance friendships (link to long distance friendships).
Send a journal
If you want to take it a step further, start a pen pal journal. Write a page in the book, like a cute journal or a composition book and mail it to a friend to write in it too. Send it back and forth until it’s full. It would be a wonderful keepsake of your friendship. (read here about Pam and Rachel).
Acts of Service
Babysit their kid/s
As military spouses, we could ALL use this…especially during deployments! We struggle to get things done during the day and with a constant cycle of laundry, dishes and making meals, we can get downright exhausted. I’m sure you know someone with the same struggle. I feel like my street is filled with overrun wives. Or perhaps your friend and her spouse have not had a date in years and don’t have a reliable babysitter. Offer to watch the kids while she runs some errands or while they rekindle their marriage. If at all else, make the offer to visit and just hold their baby or watch their kids while they make an important call…or just take a shower in peace. And I’m sure you friend would just love you and probably reciprocate the favor!
Offer your talent and time
Are you a hair stylist? A massage therapist? An expert nail artist? Whatever your talent may be, offer to gift a few minutes of it for a friend in need. I once had a friend give me a quick nail polish touch up when I was pregnant and too big to reach my toes. We all have special talents and it would be such a shame for it to go unused. Dust off your skills and find where you can offer your friendship and love through your services.
Take a meal
Meals don’t have to be reserved for just new parents, although that’s a huge saving grace too. Make a meal for those going through a deployment, TDY, who are sick…or who are just in need of some lovin’. My go-to meal is a chicken pot pie. You can download the ingredients list and recipe here. I freeze a few and deliver to the doorstep with a note and heating directions. It wouldn’t hurt to include the recipe on a card too so they can make it if they end up liking your recipe. Take it a step further and include paper plates and cutlery for easy clean up! She’ll thank you!
Quality Time
Plan a Girl’s Night Out
We military spouses and moms have such limited time it leaves you wondering, “a girl’s night out? I barely even have time to shower!” Well, all the more reason to go out! Here’s the key word…hire a babysitter! Make reservations to that restaurant you’ve been dying to try, get ‘all dolled up’ and let yourself have a good time. We all need that reprieve from motherhood and life’s responsibilities.
Meet for Coffee
Pick a date and a spot and invite a friend to meet for coffee. It’s therapeutic to share updates with each other, if even for only half an hour.
Skype Date
If you just can’t make it out physically, then at least schedule an online date with that friend you’ve been missing. Chill the wine and catch up on each other’s lives.
Really Ask how they’re doing
While you’re at your girl’s night or on your Skype date, really ask how they’re doing. We all sugar coat our hurts and struggles sometimes so try to ‘read between the lines’ if her words aren’t matching up with the tone in her voice. Offer your unconditional attention, friendship and love. Once we can all be real with each other, we make room for honest growth and deeper connections.
Physical Touch
Offer a Hug
As moms we are constantly touched by our kids but as military spouses, with our husbands gone quite frequently, we can go a while without a meaningful connection. Hugs are a simple but powerful gift to offer your friend when there are no words or gifts left. Whatever she may be going through, we all could use a hug. Our military friendships are what we lean on in difficult times and if we learn to cultivate that friendship, our love for each other will only grow.
Let a friend shower you with thanks! We all need a little love from time to time. We think we can handle it all, and some of us can, but when you feel like you’re running on empty, then you need to let others step in and “sister” you. How do you show your thanks and love to your friends? Share your thoughts below. I hope you find ways to shower your friends with these simple ways of saying thanks. If you need more inspiration, check out .
XOXO,
Sonia at Spouse Connexion