Deployment…we have all been there at one time or another…and some more than others. Deployment and separation is proving more and more stressful on the spouses who hold down the homefront, as well as the children that are affected by separation. Blue Star Families ranked separation as the #1 concern facing military families today.

We know what separation looks like- the quiet anxiety as the weeks turn to days, then hours before our loved one leaves. Then come the tearful goodbyes and promises to communicate to keep the embers burning.

But once the buses roll out, reality hits and it becomes apparent that survival mode must be enacted.

We find comfort in routines, carpooling the kids and their friends to school and after school activities. We put our nose to the grindstone, filling up our calendars until there is no breathing room left……left to think about the one who’s not there.

We push and push until something happens. We all call this “military murphy’s law” because we all know the unthinkable and inevitable is bound to happen during deployments or TDY’s.

It’s in those moments that we feel lost and depleted. And that’s when our sisterhood shows up.

It starts with a pan of freshly baked brownies and homemade sugar cookies at your doorstep from your neighbors (thank you Jessie and Alana), to an invitation to join a friend’s family for dinner (thank you Catherine and Ana)!

These angels know. They just know what is needed during that time…because we all know what it feels like to be alone and how important it is to “sister” each other, especially during a deployment or when the flu strikes our household, taking all prisoner. The Blue Star Families Military Lifestyle Survey revealed that more and more military spouses reported feeling disconnected from their community. Are we losing our sense of community ladies? Now is the time that we must strengthen our sisterhood!

I have met so many people in my 10+ years as a military spouse and these friends have shown up for me and provided love and support when I had none left to give.

Here are just a few milspo sisterhood moments that come to mind:

• The first military spouse I met, 4 months BEFORE I officially became a military wife, and who was also my co-worker, took me under her wing. We shared holidays together (slaying all day to make our first Thanksgiving meal) and have visited each other over the years so our kids could meet. We have shared many laughs and many tears. She’s my family and it’s in the hearts of true friendships that we find our home. Thanks Meagan!
• Two weeks into a 9 month deployment I fell down the stairs and broke my ankle. I called 911 and was taken to the hospital. Within minutes of arriving, who should appear but my friends Bridget, Heather and Lisa. They provided the much needed support I desperately longed for in that moment and stayed with me all through recovery, checking on me and delivering meals.
• I went into early labor with my daughter. She was coming and there was nobody who could stand in her way. I had two military spouses show up for me in my time of need. I rang my neighbor at 1AM in the morning to see if she could come watch over my sleeping 2 year old son and she came without question. Then later that morning, my friend Heather drove to the airport to pick up my mom and deliver her to the hospital.

I don’t know what I would do without these friends and the countless others who have blessed my life.

The friendships we make are what make this military life beautiful. We have to nourish and cultivate our relationships because it’s our sisters that we call upon time and time again to pick us up when we fall. These are the women who will get to know the confides of your heart… if you are brave enough to open your heart to receive it.

We need each other, sometimes more than we know and if you have experienced the kind of love from a milspo sister, then you know how the friendship quickly turns to family. It’s the ties that bind our military community together, a sense of knowing that we all share some version of the same story.

Just read these inspiring shout-outs of sisterhood below:

– Lorren Lemmons to Katelyn Rhodehouse-  I am so glad that I have someone else who is near to figure this (military life ) out with me, and you have already helped me out so many times!

-Elisa Takalo Lund to her sister, Cherianne Vigil– In four years she’s experienced the birth of two kids, two deployments, 4 moves including a solo move to Okinawa with her two kids and a dog. She’s definitely an inspiration to me!

– Cara Constance to Lauren Liz– Lauren is my go-to problem solver for all things FRG, babies, Tricare, PNW seafood, cheese and wine. Plus, she’s my hero for all her solo parenting of three boys!

– Rachel Reyes to Pam Alvarado– so thankful for you bestie! You have been through the best and worst times with me. Love you dearly!

– Catherine Fitzgerald to Jessica Ducworth– Jessica is an amazing mama of 3 (dad left 6 weeks after the third’s birth) and helps so much with a ministry I head up called Operation: Hope Front (if you are in NC area, check us out!). Our ministry is for military wives so she is serving other fellow military wives in the midst of a deployment with a new baby. Rock. Star.

– Doni Negron to Richelle Futch– Richelle gets “it” and she gets me! 👭 Wish I would’ve met her 20 years ago 💗

– Andrea Tuthill to Heather Marie- ❤️She’s been a true friend and offered to help watch my 5 month old while I completed Clinical’s for NP school, while she had a 4 mo old! Amazing mother, wonderful friend with a huge heart❤️❤️❤️

– Laura Pandya to Karla Langer – You know when people say, “I’m just a phone call away?” … that was Karla. She was there when I had a minor surgery taking care of my boys, she was there to care for my kids while my husband was away and I had doctor Appts. She definitely made my Midwest adventure more bearable and while there’s an ocean between us now, she has been checking on me while my husband is deployed. Love this girl!!

Do you know someone who could use a little love or helping hand?

Take the pledge to show up and reach out now! Print these pledge cards and carry them with you as a reminder to think about the friends who might be going through a rough time and need your time and attention.

If you’d like to read another inspiring story of friendship, check out Pam and Rachel’s Power of Friendship story here. And if you have friends in your life that could use some “sisterhood” read Love your Milspouses using the 5 Love Languages.

We all have amazing military friends who come to our rescue. Tell me about the military spouses who have sistered you in the comments below and head to the conversation on our Facebook page. Let’s inspire each other! I can’t wait to read all the inspiring stories!

XOXO,

Sonia at Spouse Connexion